If you are concerned you might be depressed, please get checked and in the meantime, here are: 15 Tips for Happiness.
Can We Decide to be Happier?
How Much Control Do We Really Have Over Our Moods?
Most psychological researchers agree that humans have a “happiness set-point”—a level of happiness that remains fairly constant; that we revert to after experiencing either a positive or negative circumstance. Two psychologists, Brickman and Campbell, first wrote about this concept in 1971 with their essay, “Hedonic Relativism and Planning the Good Society.” Since then, it has had several revisions, but the basic theory remains generally accepted.
As much as we might think external circumstances will make us happy—a better job, a bigger bank account, a more loving partner, a ride on a rocket ship—only a very small percentage (about 10%) comes from circumstances. We can experience a burst of joy or satisfaction when something good happens, but the effects of an external win or loss fade over a fairly short period of time.
There’s no current consensus on how much our genes influence our happiness set-point, but estimates are from 40-60%. One reason this is hard to determine is that it is not possible to completely separate out genetic factors from other factors. We do know, though, that genetics and circumstances do not totally determine our happiness.
Adding the percentages of genetics and circumstantial factors together leaves between 30% – 50% of our happiness being decided by our own choices. That’s significant!
We get to choose through our thought patterns and actions how happy we tend to feel any given day. Sound easy? Unfortunately, for most of us, it’s not.
Today, we have the additional challenge of unprecedented media access to the negativity and discord going on in the world. Making choices to limit our intake of negative news can be an important factor in improving our mood.
Changing your happiness set-point is a long-term commitment. It means making a consistent, conscious effort to practice what psychologists call “happiness habits.” These are practices that are scientifically proven to increase happiness set-points across age, race, and economic and relationship status.
Happiness habits affirm the positives in your life, generating a greater sense of well-being and aliveness. Your approach to every aspect of your life shifts when your perspective shifts. From one of seeing a world full of problems and limitations to seeing a world full of possibilities and opportunities.
Performing happiness habits will help you to feel better about yourself without needing anything to change in your external world. Practiced regularly, they develop new neural pathways, which raise the bar on your happiness. Evidence-based practices help to cultivate more sustainable happiness, and can even raise your happiness set-point. This enables you to better cope with stress, be more resilient, and stave off anxiety and depression when they threaten your well-being.
Committing to, and investing real effort into developing new habits is necessary to experience good results. Unfortunately thinking about doing something and actually doing it yield very different results.
So, are you ready?
Happiness Tips
Choose 2-3 to practice every day. Choose the ones that fit your personality and interests as you are more likely to stick with them than if you choose out of a feeling of “should.” As you get more used to changing your routine from negative to positive habits, add different ones, challenging your brain to remain alive, awake, and always searching for the next good thing.
- Move your body- walk, stretch, go to the gym, ride a bike, swim, play a sport
- Practice healthy eating habits
- Limit screen time and exposure to negative media, especially before bed
- Slow down- cultivate a mindful attitude by taking notice of your breath
- Get outside in nature, take a walk, go to the park, plant some flowers
- Learn something new just for the fun of it
- Practice smiling. Even if you’re not feeling happy, cultivate a happy thought and then smile about it.
- Laugh- Watch a funny movie or search comedians on YouTube
- Volunteer your time, money, or heart to create well-being for others
- Connect with a friend by phone or in-person if possible
- Be creative- draw, sing, dance, try a new recipe, play an instrument
- Find gratitude even for the smallest things and make a note of them
- Clean up your environment, clear clutter
- Keep your word—staying in integrity with yourself increases trust and self-esteem
- Become aware of your self-talk, and when you catch yourself in a negative pattern, consciously make a choice to shift it and replace it with something positive.
Like with anything worth doing, it’s not always easy. Difficult feelings will arise. Know that you are not alone. Everyone feels angry, sad, fearful, and hurt sometimes. If you find yourself indulging in things like complaining, festering over resentment, or making pessimistic statements about your future, be kind.
Celebrate that you noticed! You are learning something new, and that takes practice and time. Just keep starting again to practice a happiness habit, and give yourself the encouragement to keep going.
Ironically, being ashamed of feeling badly only serves to reinforce the bad feeling. If you have the strength, turn towards the negative feeling and listen to it, with a time limit of between 5-10 minutes. Write it down, then crumple the paper up and throw it away. Over time, you will learn to be with the difficult feelings and not to be afraid or run away from them.
Of course, if you are experiencing prolonged feelings of sadness and hopelessness, please get professional help.
At Montare Behavioral Health, we prepare our clients to meet the challenges of mood instability using a tool called the Discovery Model. We do in-depth diagnostics to uncover the root causes of the problem, whether they are from genetics, present circumstances, or historical trauma.